Today I was blessed with the opportunity to go to an orphanage for children with severe mental and physical disabilities. While there I stumbled upon several young boys who were bedridden for several different reasons. I found myself filled with frustration as I could not imagine why God would allow these poor children to have to live like this. I was praying over a young man named Marlin. Marlin is a 17 year old boy who is dying of cancer. His nurse told me of a beautiful young man who used to love to run, jump, and play, but over the past year his health has declined, and recently he has not been able to move from his bed due to his advanced cancer. At this point they are just waiting for Marlin to pass. I spent majority of my time sitting by Marlin’s bed holding his hands and praying for him. I talked to him about Jesus and told him about the mansion that the Lord has waiting for him and how the angels that will meet him and how he is going to have a new body, no pain, and be reunited with his friends and family, and one day I will meet him there again too. I stopped talking to him for a while so that he could rest. I finally asked, “Marlin, are you trying to sleep?” He lifted his finger and waved it back and forth to say, “No”. I had to laugh to myself as it was like a mother shaking her finger to say “no, no, no, my child” Then I asked him, do you want me to talk to you, if yes, squeeze my hand.” He squeezed my hand. So I started to talk to him some more. I told him how blessed I was to be here and meet him. I told him that I was from California and that my friends and family made it possible for me to be here. I said, “isn’t that cool?” and he shook his head as to say yes. I was racking my brain for questions to ask him. Marlin is a twin so I started to talk to him about his twin sister. All of the sudden he started to talk to me. He started answering questions I asked, and then asked me to rub his back. I felt so honored that after all this time of a group of us praying over him and the other boys that he choose to talk to ME, but he wanted me to rub his back?! Normally, rubbing someone’s back would not be an issue, but I have to say I was caught of gaurd and even scared to rub Marlin’s back as he has a huge tumor growing in his lower back and on his neck. I think more than anything I was scared to hurt him or his incredibly fragile body (he was literal “skin and bones” where the cancer had not grown in a mass form). I sat on my knees rubbing Marlin’s back for a while, to the point that my legs were in pain. As I felt the pain in my legs all I could do was pray and thank God that I had know idea what TRUE pain is. From what Marlin’s nurse says, he is in intense pain, which I can only imagine. Throughout my time with Marlin I was completely redused to tears. There were times when I could not even talk to him because I could not stop crying long enough. My heart just broke for him. I wanted to touch him like one of Jesus’ diciples and heal him on his bed. Ultimately, I had to realize that all I could do is hold him and pray for him. I gave him my Jamaica bracelet before I left. I explained to him that I have been wearing it for the past few months to remind me and my friends to pray for the people/country of Jamaica. I explained that the other side of the bracelet said “Miles Ahead” and that was who I was here with and that it could remind him of me. I figured it would be a good reminder for each of us to pray for each other. While I my heart still breaks for Marlin and all of these bedridden and disabled children, I have now come to realize that one reason God allows these children to experience life in this way to help humble me, and others who have come before, and who will come behind me. I sit here tonight completely humble, never wanting to complain about pain again, while axiously await the day I get to see Marlin in Heaven sitting on Jesus lap wraped in His arms of love.
